How to cope with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Winter is "the most wonderful time of the year" for some people - holidays, winter wonderland, cozy nights in etc. However, for others the shortened days and darker nights brings out SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder).  

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder?-  In case you haven't heard of this term before, this is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. Can also be known as Winter depression because the symptoms are more apparent during the winter and autumn season and often disappears during spring and summer. Symptoms of SAD can include; irritability, loss of interest in normal daily activities, persistent low mood, sleepy/ lack of energy during the day, food cravings (carbs especially) and weight gain etc. 

(source: NHS uk ) 

Although seeking professional/medical help is certainly the route to managing any form of depression, what can you do for yourself to cope? 

1. Light - Take advantage of the sunny days, spending time outside can boost serotonin levels - this is the chemical in that is responsible for maintaining mood balances in our body. Lack of serotonin leads to depression. Alternatively, make sure you are exposed to natural light when you are indoors, open the blinds and curtains. Light in general lifts up your mood as compared to being in the dark - I work in a dementia care setting and it is a fact that poor lighting can increase anxiety in patients and can affect their mood. 

2. Diet and exercise - It's no secret that exercise can relief stress and boost your overall mood. People who exercise on a regular tends to feel more positive about themselves this is because when you exercise you'll naturally release endorphins. For someone who has SAD or who doesn't exercise on a regular it doesn't have to be anything extremely exhausting - even a little walk can make a difference. Also maintain a healthy diet, avoid foods high in simple carbohydrates (fight those cravings!). Grains, vegetables, fish, poultry and meat are some of the foods containing serotonin. 

3. Good Sleep - When you are depressed you tend to sleep a lot anyway, however avoid napping during the day by staying active and make sure you get enough sleep during the night. Sleeping is just as important as eating and drinking, it helps you keep on track and your mood balanced. 

4. Talk to people and Maintain your routine - Do not isolate yourself from friends and family,  sharing your problems with your loved ones is very important as they will help you get the help you deserve. Lastly, do not neglect your everyday activities/ hobbies, make an effort to stay active. Life is too short to put on pause for temporary setbacks!

If all fails book a winter sun holiday! (but seek help first) 

                                                               

                                                                        -Rue xx 

     

Importance of self care

Being a mental health advocate and as much as I know the importance of self care, I must say  have been having difficulties implementing it into my own life. With me being a full time nursing student, working part time and not to mention other commitments, life has been very busy lately. It was only until two weeks ago when I finally had a whole week off  I realised I haven't been prioritising on things I enjoy doing. Instead, I was either working or at uni and every little free time I had I found myself catching up on sleep. I was exhausted to say the least. Not only was this affecting my wellbeing but it was also affecting those around me. I was slowly becoming a colleague/friend from hell.

Self care is something I have been practising for a long time, there are certain things I like doing simply because they help me recharge, unwind and puts me in a better mindset. Understanding your own needs is very crucial for your overall  health, it is pretty much self therapy that then allows you to focus on other aspects of your life without being overwhelmed or stressed. However, sometimes life can get hectic and it is easy to forget about yourself in the process. It is important we constantly remember to look after ourselves. Usually, when we start to experience an overload burn-out it is very easy to lose focus that what we consider being "productive" actually becomes counterproductive. We also begin to lose interest in everything around us. Taking a little time out to recharge can help you refocus. Also, avoiding situations that are mentally draining and maintaining healthy relationships with yourself and other people is also a way of practising self care.

There are many tips on how to take care of yourself out there, however it is important to remember that self-care is all about what works best for YOU and certainly isn't always luxury. Whether it's keeping active, spending some time alone connecting with yourself,  reading, cooking, travelling etc. whatever  it is that you love and puts you in good spirits,  always make time for it. This will help you cope with life stress and stay on top of your physically and mentally form.

                                                                -Rue xx 

23 THINGS I'VE LEARNT IN 23 YEARS

Although this life has taught me way more, I thought it will be a cool idea to list only 23 lessons since it's my 23rd birthday and also I want this blog to be a brief one (I have a holiday to pack for!).This habit of reflection is something I usually do on my birthday every year, looking back at the things I have achieved/learnt about myself in the previous year allows me to change certain aspects of my life. So without further ado..

1. Take everyday as a blessing, you never know what's around the corner

2. Never set a timeline for things that are meant to happen naturally (e.g relationships) 

3. Your parents are ALWAYS right

4. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company

5. Friends come and go

6. If you can’t stop thinking about it BUY IT😆

7. Self care is very important

8. The longer you hold on to resentment the more it sucks happiness out of you

9. Growth happens outside your comfort zone

10. A glass of wine is always the solution even if you are not sure what the problem is. 

11. Don't compete or compare yourself to anyone, everyone's journey is different

12. What you choose to focus on becomes your reality (positive/negative)

13.  It's okay to be selfish sometimes, your happiness should always be your top priority

14. Learn to be content with what you have while you pursue, wait and pray for what you want

15. Only you have your best interest at heart

16. Do not burn bridges, you never know who will be there for you tomorrow and who won't be

17. Do not hesitate to remove yourself from toxic situations

18. Do not hold high expectations for people

19. Your time is precious, do not let anyone waste it

20. Travelling is good for the soul
21. Change isn't always scary

22. Bad decisions are both a blessing and a curse..appreciate the blessing and learn from curse.

23. Law of attraction is real and so is Karma!

ps (Shout out to all the October babies) xx 

                                                                         -Rue xx 

He is just not that into you...

(Image Source - google)

If there is one thing I've learnt about men during my dating experience is that they are very transparent and upfront with their intentions, us women just overlook it in hopes they would change right? The truth is when a guy is into you the signs are clear as a day. I believe men are born to pursue women  and if you find yourself in a situation that is the other way round that is an obvious sign he is not into you. Usually this type of guy will string you along until he decide what he wants, it's generally because he already knows what he doesn't want (you) so the earlier you realise this the better.  These are some signs he might just be playing games with you:-

1) You are always the one initiating contact - when a guy is into you he loves talking to you and always checks up on you when he doesn't hear from you. (When I started dating my boyfriend he would tell me about the number of times he got caught messaging me under the desk at work ha.)

In my opinion; if it takes him a day to send a text back he is certainly sending you a message of another kind.  Nowadays people are always on their phone. You are just not a priority.

2) He only speak to you when it suits him - this is the guy who just disappears or stops talking to you  without an explanation. You will probably hear from him again when he is drunk, bored or in some cases things aren't okay at home (in other words you are the side chick - which takes us to my next point)

3) He is already involved with someone else - you might not or  you might be aware but simply don't care or have you a little hope aka delusional. He might say everything you want to hear but if there is someone in his life already, he surely can't be giving you his all.

4)... *sigh*

Listen, I could go on with the list but I hate having to repeat the obvious. My point is if a guy wants you, you'll know it. Mixed signals are a myth. So what do you do now you have realised the he isn't the one? Release your hope for him babyguuurl, let go and move on with your life! it was never serious in the first place. As women our problem is we tend to fall for words rather than actions, some men are scam STAY WOKE and don't get stringed along in situationships. The reality is you will end up disappointed if you think everyone is for you. When things doesn't work out like you hoped they would and it's beyond your control all you can do is focus on yourself, one day you will be glad it turned out the way it did.  In my previous blog I mentioned the importance of leaving a bad situation - your soul mate might be somewhere out there but you are blocking this blessing if you keep holding on to "Mr MAN" who has ZERO interest in you. And besides you are still young, enjoy the dating experience without getting too attached to people. Not everyone you talk to is going to be boyfriend material and don't be in a rush to settle down that you end up settling instead.

                                              -Rue-
                                                xxx

Life in your twenties

As a 22 year old I believe your twenties is the most important decade of your life,  every decision you make during these years either good or bad can impact the rest of your life and once you are older (let's say in your 30's or 40's) it might be almost impossible to reinvent yourself. I get it your twenties can be confusing; this is the only time in your life where there is contradiction of people telling you to "grow up" yet also "you are only young, enjoy yourself". The honest truth is in your twenties you are old enough to have a vision and life goals.  This is  the time to rediscover yourself and to focus on the meaning of your existence. These are a few things I think you should do that your future self will thank you for:

1. Live for the moment

Yes it is important to plan of the future , however do not get carried away with this

 idea to a point where you forget to live. Today is the youngest you will ever be, enjoy life and make sure that you will never have regrets in life. I once read "Life unfolds in the present, but so often we let the present slip away allowing time to rush past unobserved and unseized and squandering the precious seconds of our lives as we worry about the future and ruminate what's past". Live everyday to its greatest potential and enjoy every moment like there is no tomorrow.

2. Do not let fear control your life 

Whether it's fear of rejection, failure etc. Do not let this get in your way, move to that new city, apply for that job. What's the worst that could happen? Yes you are rejected however you gain interview experience which helps you prepare for the more to come interviews.  Personally I was scarred from a past relationship and my guard was up for a very long time but then I thought I don't want to be that 50 year old never been married aunty with no children ha (Or a Bridget Jones).  The truth is people will hurt you and live happily ever after so the best thing you can do for yourself is to move on. The good thing about being in your twenties is you can mess up and things might not go according to plan but you are most likely to get more opportunities. So take the risks and don't let the fear consume your life.

3. Do not compare yourself to anyone else

I am starting my mental health nursing course at 22 whereas someone out there same age as me has just graduated with their degree in the course. Trust the timing of your life, everyone is moving at their own pace so there is no need to compare yourself with others. Set yourself goals, stay focused, work hard and remember you are in your own race. "Comparison puts focus on the wrong person..when we constantly compare ourselves to others waste precious energy on other peoples' lives rather than our own".

4. Do not hesitate to leave bad situations

Work, friendships, relationships etc. I can't stress enough the importance of mental health with this one.  Sometimes we fear we are making the "wrong decision" by leaving or maybe we are just too comfortable and we think we won't find something better. This the right time to leave, once you get stuck in the situation it will start affecting your mental state and as I mentioned before you are young; plenty more opportunities will come, you will meet new people etc. whereas by staying in the situation you won't be able to give these new opportunities a chance. Leave and don't forget to take the lesson with you.

5. Choose your company wisely

The company you keep will either water your roots or pluck you therefore choose your friends wisely. If you are someone who is easily influenced by the people who you hang out with then I suggest you pick a different group of people. As we grow older it is important to weed out people who don't help us grow and that is okay, it is also okay to have a smaller circle of friends..quality over quantity. If your friends aren't elevating you and supporting you to be a better version of yourself are they really your friends?

6. Learn to enjoy your own company

Your twenties can be a lonely time, you have less of a social life due to work, school, being tired in general etc.  I value my alone time more than anything nowadays because I'm surrounded by people majority of the time and this can be draining at times. Use this time to discover more things about yourself and doing things of your own interest.

7.  Travel 

I don't mean a week holiday to Ibiza with the lads binge drinking day and night! Your twenties are probably the only times you are old enough and independent to pick a destination and just go (most cases no kids and big responsibilities e.g mortgage and bills). Go and see the world! get to experience different cultures, way of living and learn to be comfortable outside your comfort zone. Engage with the locals and learn different languages. The ability to communicate with people from different backgrounds is very handy in this day and age as it can create a lot of opportunities. Travelling is also something you can look back in the future and be proud of, the memories from the experience will last you a lifetime.

                                                        -Rue xx

Cutting people off 2017! (New Year New Me)

It seems like every new year there is always this trend about "cutting people off" or "leaving people behind", I would love to jump on this bandwagon but I really love my two friends. I mean if a relationship or friendship with a person isn't beneficial you have every reason to remove yourself from that situation right? However nowadays people seem to cut each other off simply out of pettiness. Before coming into conclusion about cutting people out of our lives how about we evaluate our relationship with them first.. look into the situation and see what we can do to make things better. One of my New Year's resolutions this year is to better my relationship with the people in my life right now. Personally I think pride is what gets in the way when it comes to relationships and friendships at times, you've got to ask yourself is your pride more important than having these people in your life? People find it difficult to set their pride aside and this results in issues not being solved and you just stop talking. If you really value your relationship/friendship then you should try swallowing your pride and be the bigger person so you can work things out.

In a friendship there will always be fall outs sometimes things will get deep, before you decide the answer is to cut that person off give yourself some time to think about it rather than an immediate reaction to the situation based on current emotion. Looking back at fall outs with friends I can admit most times I overreacted to the situation. Although friendships sometimes come and go, there are people out there who genuinely care for you and you might want to hold on to them for the rest of your life. What I am saying is you know when a relationship/friendship is healthy, value this type of relationship and do not over react to a misunderstanding or a minor fall out. However there are some very draining people out there, if the effort and vibe you are giving isn't reciprocated and the person you call a friend  don't see a problem in that then the scissors is yours.

   

Rue xx

                                                                 Rue xx